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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #21: On Visas & Turtlenecks
Holla Flock! Have you behaved yourself this past week? Prayed to Beysus and Baby Blue? I do hope so. It’s through them that we might find salvation and redemption in this cruel world. What do you think...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #22: Spring Cleaning
Holla Flock! I’ve got no idea what I’m going to talk about yet for this week’s sermon, so we could be in for something quite rambling, or alternatively, something quite short. Only Beysus knows. And,...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #23: On A Kindlier Plane
Holla Flock! Ever since its inception, there has never been anyplace like the movies. They inspire, terrify, and delight us. They are a unifying treasure in our modern culture. It was a movie that...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #25: On Adventure
Holla Flock! It is a very exciting day up here in the church since I have decided to incorporate a brand new tenant into our dearly beloved religion. Now, in addition to the usual (adopt kittens,...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #26: On Fasting
[No gif this week, Flock, my hair is a nightmare, so here's a very important picture of me and my friend, Beyoncé.] Holla Flock! I forgot all about the sermon I had planned for yesterday until it was...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #27: On Insignificance
["How you doin'?" I'm obsessed with Wendy Williams and have elevated her to sainthood. #SANASAS to us all!] Holla Flock! Are you more important than a tree or a rock? A few days ago, I would have said...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #28: On Spontaneity
Holla Flock! I have an absolutely thrilling announcement to make tonight. I’m so excited that I can’t bring myself to say it just yet. Let’s play a delightful game and see if you can guess! CLUE 1: it...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #29: On Buddhism
[I'm using this GIF again this week; it applies.] Holla Flock! I have never decided on what I want to be when I grow up — I have good intentions and a few goals, but I have no real intention of ever...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #30: On Death
Holla Flock, I have been a reverend for about a year now. In that time, I’ve never had the opportunity to baptize a baby, marry a happy couple, or proceed over a funeral. All I’ve done is share my...
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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #31: On Near Death Experiences
Holla Flock! Your dearly beloved reverend nearly went to see Beyoncé at the Pearly Gates the other day. I can hear your horrified gasps from here. Well ought you catch your breath in fright — I’ve not...
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WHY DON’T YOU? #145
Monday: Why don’t you affix a bunch of pictures to a blank wall in a haphazard yet artsy fashion? I was trying to give my office a facelift, so I cut maps out of an old atlas and nailed them to the...
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NEW YORK CITY: Cloister Queen
When I was finally conscious the next morning, I was really feeling my hair. Back then in March I still had long hair. We were near the end of our relationship, so it was irksome to have it look good....
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MEXICO CITY: Blessed by Our Lady
I have never seen anybody purposely smash themselves into a pile of glass. That is the kind of thing that should happen in a disaster, not for a handful of change from passersby. That afternoon,...
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MEXICO CITY: Witches!
The night before, I made grand and glorious plans to scurry away to the pyramids of Teotihuacan, and I even woke up early enough to make this come true. Sadly, but not actually all that sad as I was on...
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MEXICO CITY: I Love My Mummies
I am fully convinced that I was a nun or a monk in a past life. The cloistered life has always called to me, and one of these days, as you surely know from my constant blathering, I will go on a...
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MEXICO CITY: The Donkey and the Scorpion
Jessica woke up before me, and the shock of this was so total and complete that I was immediately woke. I was suspicious and wary of what was going on, but this didn’t last long once we started talking...
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WHY DON’T YOU? #202
Monday: Why don’t you fill up your yard with early blooming flowers? The return of spring has filled me with delight and reminded me that the world isn’t always a bleak and desolate wasteland. Lol...
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MEXICO CITY: The Prophecy
[I know how extraordinarily behind I am on these posts. I find it rather embarrassing. I decided to do a summary instead, just finish them off, but then the pandemic arrived. I had a trip to Europe...
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